Mama Bird by Jamie Brown (Asst. Principal)

Last week as I working in my office, I noticed a hawk sitting on the roof of the awning in front of the school. I noticed a smaller bird flying into the hawk with all of its might. As I watched, I couldn’t help but think that this little bird had to be a protective parent. It was evident from the interaction that the hawk was near a bird nest and the smaller bird sprang into action to protect the eggs. The small bird showed such bravery in its actions to protect and it got me thinking about parents in general. I think all parents instinctively want to protect their children from failure, hurt, disappointment, embarrassment, and an endless list of other things.

I sat there thinking about the conversations I have with protective parents and began to think about Brene Brown’s ted talk on vulnerability. I recently had the opportunity to hear Brene speak at a district principal’s meeting about her book “Daring Greatly”. She spoke about how “vulnerability is the greatest measure of courage” because being vulnerable is uncomfortable, risky and emotional. She spoke about how important it is to experience failure and how if you’re not failing then you’re not trying anything new. Sometimes it is hard to see the benefits of failure or struggle when you are in protective parent mode.

The bird outside my window that day was in protective mode because it was a matter of life and death for her future chicks. As a parent, what causes you to go into protective mode? Are you willing to let your child experience failure? When do you step in? There are many things to consider when you are answering these questions, and we know that being a parent is the hardest job you will ever do.

There are many articles about being an over protective or helicopter parent, and how that affects children as they grow up. I have included one below that I found to be interesting. Unfortunately as with many things in life there is no right or wrong answer. You have to read the research, gather information, and then decide what kind of parent you want to be. You are the only one who can decide the answers to the questions I posed above: “What causes you to go into protective mode?, Are you willing to let your child experience failure?, and When do you step in?”

http://drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/helicopter-parents-helpful-or-harmful/